


Learn the Beat

by midget_boss



Series: Dancing Blind [1]
Category: TMNT (2007)
Genre: Character Study, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:54:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23766469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midget_boss/pseuds/midget_boss
Summary: A look at how Raphael might have gotten to where he was, through a series of remembered conversations and the lessons he took from them.
Series: Dancing Blind [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1712122
Kudos: 11





	Learn the Beat

**Author's Note:**

> The words in italics are memories of conversations. If you have any trouble following the conversations please let me know.

Leo had always been many things to Raph. He had been partner and confidante in their early years. They played games and had adventures, chasing after each other through the sewers as the days passed. He should have seen it coming. Even then, Leo had a tendency to worry about things Raph barely paid any attention to.

_“Let’s see how far this tunnel goes.”_

_“We need to head back. Master Splinter will start to worry.”_

_“Don’t you want to find out what’s down there?”_

_“Raph-”_

_“We’ll just go ‘til it bends, okay?”_

Leo had been more flexible then. Later, once training had begun Leo had shifted from partner to rival, from confidante to good friend. Leo had hung back with Master Splinter more and more, leaving Raph to have adventures with Mikey he would later tell Leo about. He’d tried to entice Leo out with him by going farther and farther away, but Leo had not reacted the way Raph had expected.

_“So we were out at that intersection, you know the one that smells like dead fish.”_

_“Raph, you know you aren’t supposed to go out there.”_

_“Yeah, so? We were just passing through.”_

_“You’re not supposed to go past there, either.”_

_“It’s no big deal. We didn’t even come back that way, we went around the other way. Does that make you feel better?”_

_“The one that smells like pizza?”_

_“Yeah. So, anyway ..”_

_“You still shouldn’t have gone out there, Raph. And you definitely shouldn’t have taken Mikey with you.”_

_“What are you going to do about it? Tell Splinter?”_

_“That’s Master Splinter. And I might if you keep this up.”_

_“What, seriously? Why?”_

_“He only makes these rules to keep you safe. If you keep going out there, you’ll be in danger. And so will Mikey. You could at least think about him.”_

Raph could barely remember when Mikey had begun concentrating on his games and his comic books. Sometime shortly after Donnie fixed that Nintendo for him, he knew that much. By that time Raph had found the punching bag and a new interest in training.  
_  
“Whatcha doin’?”_

_“Raph, do you have to speak like that?”_

_“I like it.”_

_“Well, I don’t. And to answer your question, isn’t it obvious? I’m training.”_

_“We did that before.”_

_“Well, I feel like doing more. A little extra training wouldn’t hurt, you know.”_

_“Are ya tryin’ ta say somethin’?”_

_“No, I just meant that extra training never hurts.”_

_“So ya wanna spar? That‘s extra trainin‘.”_

_“We did that earlier, remember?”_

_“Yep. Ya won, too. Wanna see if ya can do it again?”_

_“There isn’t any need to.”_

_“Oh yeah?”_

_“Raph, wait. I didn’t mean it like that.”_

The words had echoed in his head for a long time after that. Raph had found a place to put his punching bag and begun training two days later. Master Splinter had given him a tolerant smile and shaken his head the first time he saw it. So Raph had followed him to the door of the dojo.  
_  
“Do you see the grace with which Leonardo handles his ninjaken? His diligent practice has had a profound impact.”_

_“Master Splinter, can I have extra training? Like Leo?”_

_“You wish to train like Leonardo? First, you must master the basics. When you can make it all the way through meditation we will talk.”  
_  
It had taken Raph a lot longer than he remembered it taking Leo, but he had finally managed it a few weeks later. By that time Leo had already moved beyond the kata, he had been practicing. Master Splinter had been very pleased.  
_  
“Master Splinter said you wanted to do extra training.”_

_“Yeah, so what’s it to ya?”_

_“Nothing. Don’t get so upset. We’ll start with the fukugata as warm-ups, then ..”_

_“What are you talking about?”_

_“It’s nice to see you can still speak clearly.”_

_“Sorry, my bad. Wot are ya sayin’?”_

_“That isn’t funny, Raph. Now you get in position in front of me so we can start.”_

_“That’s the Sensei’s position.”_

_“That’s right. I’m going to be your Sensei. You can call me Leo-sensei. Raph, where are you going?”  
_  
Raph had never asked for extra training again. In fact, for a long time, he wouldn’t go anywhere near the dojo except for when they were all scheduled to be there. He’d found bits and pieces of a weightlifting set in the sewer and had gradually built himself his own training area. It wasn’t until he had nearly completed a mismatched set six months later that Master Splinter would finally take notice.  
_  
“My son, you have been spending a lot of time with these weights.”_

_“Yes, Sensei. Do ya see how strong I’ve gotten?”_

_“Yes, I see that. However, you have been neglecting your other studies, Raphael. There is more to ninjutsu than being strong, my son.”_

_“Is this ‘bout meditation today?”_

_“It is not only about your meditation and that problem has occurred before today. You have not been focusing as you should.”_

_“I was jus’ a little distracted.”_

_“Raphael, your behavior worries me. You have barely spent any time out with the rest of your family. And lately, you have been starting fights with your brothers.”_

_“I said I was sorry.”_

_“Raphael, I cannot help you if you won’t tell me what is troubling you.”_

_“Nothin’s troublin’ me. ‘M fine. I‘ve jus‘ been workin‘ out on my own is all.”_

_“Very well. Come with me.”_

_“Why? Wazup?”_

_“I think it would be in your best interest to spend some time with your brothers.”_

_“Is Leo gonna be out there?”_

_“Raphael, do you have some problem with Leonardo?”_

_“I was jus’ wonderin’.”_

_“It is nearly time for our evening meditation. Perhaps you should join us.”_

_“Naw, I’ll go see what Mikey’s up to.”_

He had taken that to mean that if he wanted to be left alone, he had to follow a certain set of rules. Eventually, Raph had figured out how much time was enough time to keep Master Splinter happy. For the next few years, he was careful to stay mostly within those boundaries. Every now and then Master Splinter and Leo would join them, but unless he got into a fight with one or both they sort of hovered at the edges.  
_  
“Decided to grace us wi’ your presence, eh Fearless?”_

_“I didn’t know you knew such a big word. And don‘t call me Fearless.”_

_“You must nota been listenin’, then. Or your memory’s goin‘ already.”_

_“Raphael, that is enough.”_

Raph had once read a story about a wolf-dog mix. He’d forgotten most of the story, but there was one part that still lingered. The animal had been part of a dog sled team and the owners had a peculiar way of treating their animals. They would let the dogs choose a leader, then they would favor that leader, isolating him and treating him to the best of anything the dogs got. That treatment created resentment from the other members of the team, who constantly tried to take the leader down. So the leader had to keep fighting and stay better than the others, so he could keep his place. Because if he lost his place, he might as well be dead. 

It’s been years since he last read that story. He thought he’d seen it on one of their bookshelves, but he hasn‘t looked to be sure. Raph can’t forget it, though. Some nights he dreams of a wolf-dog mix with amber eyes and a blue-collar surrounded by a pack of snarling dogs. When he wakes he goes to the dojo to challenge Leo, aware that his eyes hold something he wouldn‘t be able to name even if he looked. His brother silently faces him with clear eyes, undaunted, and then the dance begins.

**Author's Note:**

> Raphael has always been my favorite character, which makes me nervous about how I portray him. I hope you enjoyed my take on him in this universe. I have a few more stories set in this universe, alternating from Raphael and Leonardo's points of view.


End file.
